A Letter to Mom

Dear mother,

Despite my passionate professions of love to my love, I regret to inform you that she does not love me more than bagpipes in the spring. And while I vainly say that my love for her is akin to eating a peanut butter and orange sandwich, she then chooses to say that her love for me is greater than her love for the world. The world! Of all the things that she loves, she would choose the world? Please enlighten me further on the inner workings of the curiosity that is the female mind.

Your confused Son,


P.S. Your sandwiches are still the best.

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